After a loved one passes, you’ll want to do everything you can to honor their memory and celebrate their life with the friends and family you love. That typically means planning and customizing a memorial service that will both pay respect to their personality and life and help you process your own feelings.
How do you do it?
Customizing Your Memorial Service
These are some of the best strategies for customizing your memorial service:
- Start with a list of goals. Before anything else, take a moment to write down a list of goals. What are you hoping to accomplish with your memorial service? What are the most important aspects of your loved one that you want to celebrate? Are you interested in having a relatively small gathering where people can share their thoughts and feelings openly? Or would you rather have a bigger, more relaxed gathering where people can destress and connect with each other? What type of event would make you walk away satisfied?
- Set a budget. Next, it’s important to set a budget. If you aren’t careful, the costs of a memorial service can quickly spiral out of control. But on the other end of the spectrum, you can have a beautiful, unforgettable memorial service without spending much money. It all depends on how much money you have and what you’re trying to accomplish; if you set a strict upper limit for what you’re going to spend, you’ll be able to make decisions much more effectively.
- Consider a custom cremation urn. According to Rick Fraser of In The Light Urns, “Custom cremation urns give you an opportunity to remember and celebrate your loved one in a totally unique way. You can create a genuine work of art that captures and symbolizes who they were when they were alive.” If your loved one is cremated or if you’re planning on having them cremated, a custom cremation urn could help you remember them forever. It could also be a lovely centerpiece for the memorial service you plan.
- Integrate religious or spiritual themes (if appropriate). If you or your loved one had religious or spiritual beliefs, consider integrating them into the service. There are practically unlimited options here, but keep in mind they aren’t mandatory; secular memorial services can be just as powerful. It all depends on what’s the best fit for you and your family.
- Choose the right location. There are many viable locations for a memorial service or celebration of life. You could celebrate at a church, in a park, or even at your own home. Consider going somewhere your loved one truly enjoyed and felt at home. It’s arguably the perfect way to remember them and celebrate their life.
- Invite the right group. For some people, a big, inclusive gathering is the right move. For others, a smaller, more intimate gathering is better. In either case, make sure you invite the right people to honor your loved one’s memory – and create the right atmosphere.
- Create a memory board (or something similar). A memory board is a shared space where people can contribute photos, written messages, or even small pieces of art to celebrate and remember the decedent. There are practically unlimited creative options here, and all of them give your guests an opportunity to express themselves in a positive way.
- Put together a video. If you have the time and inclination, consider putting together a celebratory video of your loved one’s life. Showcase moments that best exemplify their personality and best characteristics – and close any gaps you have with some of your favorite photos.
- Serve some of their favorite foods. Did your loved one have favorite foods or beverages? Consider serving them at your memorial service. People who knew them and loved them will likely recognize these choices and greatly appreciate them.
- Be in nature. Nature is often incorporated into memorial services and celebrations of memory because of its beauty and symbolic power. Nature is all around us and broadly everlasting, even as individual species die and decompose in a constant cycle of life and death. You can integrate nature into your memorial service by celebrating in a park, planting trees, releasing doves, or in countless other ways.
Finding What’s Right for You
Keep in mind that there is no universal right way to customize a memorial service. Instead, you have to find what’s right for you and your family. In today’s technologically advanced, culturally diverse world, there are practically no limits to what you can put together. All that matters is that you find something that honors your loved one’s memory and allows you and your family members to process your grief effectively.
